Sometimes, when I’m feeling down, this one comes over and climbs in my lap and pees through her underwear and sweatpants on to my lap.
And then, instead of feeling down, I feel down and wet.
A few pals and I finally came to this realization over the weekend of sftu: JASON PERMENTER IS A FIGMENT OF OUR IMAGINATION. Yes, we’ve met him, stroked his hair, heard wonderfully clever things coming out of his mouth, even met his insanely-more-beautiful-in-person bride-to-be Anna and witnessed how magically in love they are together. [swallowing my bile.] But he doesn’t have us fooled. HE’S NOT REAL. We realized that no one individual can have all of the fantastical aspects of one’s life as he does.
The prior career as a volcanologist? The amazing things he makes now as a ridiculously talented designer? The *multiple* corduroy suits? The beautiful french bride? And of course the most recently revealed conceit, that these two met via an email sent a year ago that was titled “This is not spam”?
FICTION! It’s too perfect. He’s like Griffin & Sabine. He’s been written by some eccentric writer somewhere. HE IS A CHARACTER OUT OF ONE OF HIS OWN DESIGN PROJECTS. Don’t try and deny it PERMENTER! In fact, once we finally realized the enormity of this charade, some of us were a little upset. So Jason, while we all consider you a dear and special friend and wish nothing but the best for “you” and “Anna”, DO NOT TRY AND CONVINCE US FURTHER THAT YOU EXIST.
Unpinching
to make the heart bigger
to touch it.
Red.
TRUE. Swear on your mother’s grave, true. Face of an angel, body of a stripper, mind of a golem. True.
![[close-up] Click through to @whlteXbread’s sftu set, graffiti hunt and all, gorgeous shots. The man has skills.](http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kx788wFGHb1qzu69xo1_500.jpg)
[close-up] Click through to @whlteXbread’s sftu set, graffiti hunt and all, gorgeous shots. The man has skills.
[Exterior]
J: Yo yo yo, what up, this is J-Hey inviting all y’all to check out my crib.
[Quick cuts of corners of crib]
J: All right, well here you have the front gate, wood laminate, it slides up and down real good when Mom does it, and it locks at the top. One day Dad left it down when I was inside and I was thinking about climbing over but my dollies were all like ‘girl you CRAZY!’ so I chilled.
[Interior, headboard]
J: Cool, OK so here you have the headboard, it’s pretty tall, you can see, and this here is my favorite place to jump in the crib. Springs got MAD action over here, check it… <spastic jumping> Yeah. One time I was jumping and I bashed my lip on the top here, blood and <BLEEP>, that <BLEEP> was <BLEEP> UP. That’s my horsey pillow.
[Interior, baseboard]
J: All right, we’ve reached the end of the tour, this is the baseboard, where my peeps be at: that’s Dora, Ann, Bear, Baby and Little Mouse. And this here is my blanket, check out the thread count. I don’t know what that means, but <BLEEP> is SOFT. I got a few books here, too, Curious George gets a medal in this one. That monkey is a hero. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed hanging out in my crib today, I’m going to sit down and make up songs when I should be napping. PEACE.
