Emptiness. A slow, creeping panic. I didn’t know where I was going to live, didn’t know what I was going to do for work. My future was uncertain and blank. It felt familiar but deeply wrong.
And two seconds before opening my eyes, that reality of being young, out of school, without a path - it was washed away by the actual reality that I was old, secure in a job of ten years, a father. The dream dissipated. Realization, relief filled its void. My eyes opened.
Time is nothing to a sleeping mind. The weight of years is lost. I was inhabiting a space that was long past, but in that moment (hour? minute? second?) it was immediate and tangible.
What if that switch was thrown while awake? Perhaps the mind need not sleep to pivot between realities. What if that same internal mechanism shed your memories while you went about your day?
You may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
A few years back and I would simply institutionalize my son after a question like that.
Now you never know what makes sense in this world.