January 2010
23 posts
Happy New Year to you Doctors of Strange, you...
I am very much looking forward to meeting many of you in 2010 and spending more time with those I’ve been lucky to meet this year. Wishing you and yours a very happy and healthy new year. XOSH
December 2009
41 posts
Unison
You know how something catches your eye by the window, and on the ledge you see a spider? And you go to squash it, but in so doing you accidentally dismember the spider’s leg, and the leg keeps moving, on it’s own. Except the leg is 7 feet tall. And you look up and there are eight of them, eight dismembered 7-foot tall spider legs moving on their own. They are standing upright. Wearing...
“The Island of Doubt
is like the taste of medicine
Working by hindsight
Got...”
– Talking Heads
(yeah)
ELLA FITZGERALD IS JUST CRAZY ABOUT HORSES
STUFFING CAKE WITH FACE
1 tag
“You’re just a Kenny Rogers doll now.”
– Disenchanted Kenneth, disrobing Santa doll.
“I’m gonna tell mom I got a donut for being a good haircut patient.”
– the boy
"Tell us why you believe your child is gifted."
The kindergarten application stared up at me. I looked for inspiration to my son, who was nibbling on a lump of Play-doh. He saw me look at him and roared. “ROAAAR, dad! Roar like a whale!”
Cute Dress
Much like “I’m on it” can mean many things, the phrase “cute dress,” said by one lady to another, is capable of a broad number of meanings.
“Cute dress,” can mean: “I like that garment you are wearing. But it would look so much better on me.”
“Cute dress,” can mean: “I can’t believe you are actually wearing that, you...
Sometimes I put my hand in between the elevator’s closing doors to remind the elevator NOT SO FAST I am in control and we’ll go when I say so
And the elevator’s all like OH NO you didn’t
And I’m like OH YES I DID BITCH <SLAP floor 14>
1 tag
Every Day
Every day my daughter shows yet another one of my personality traits. Every day it is more and more fun to hang out with her. Every day she gets older, every day growing up into this impossible young woman, every day becoming ‘that girl.’
And this scares the everloving crap out of me.
Polar bears were a delicacy on Krypton
And you thought the Fortress of Solitude was in the Arctic because there were no people.
Would somebody please quote WarGames already?
(via weselec)
Love to. How about Global Thermonuclear War?
SHARKS
At this time of day, the sun setting over the mountains pours down over the city and into the building across from my office. The top floor of the building is the swimming pool of an athletic club, with large windows, and I can see the swimmers stroke through the water, fast at first, then, after a while, slowly plodding. As the sun pours down and two birds fly by my window, it occurs to me that...
Hassle
I hate it when the teens and the tweens try to pretend they’re all talking on their cell phones near me when in reality I know they’re taking pictures of me with their cell phones.
So I do the natch celeb thing: I eat my Raisinets with my mouth open, rub my temple with my middle finger, and squint so their internet friends won’t know I’m pretty.
Oh snap, tween, you just...
This is what it feels like the day after the...
Counterfeit stars make my butt hurt.
Lame. Lame. Lame.
"I love the smell of the dark, daddy."
You and me both, son.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to kill the neighbor’s dog and get away with it.
Hi, my name is Dal, and I’m addicted to droids.
(Hi, Dal.) I’m here because I realize I can’t stop myself. I woke up yesterday morning naked with a medical droid and three R2 units - I didn’t remember where I bought them, what I had done with them, or why the medical droid was stroking the R2s’ feet. I buy all of them, man – R5s, R4s, Power droids, protocol droids, probe droids – I LOVE the probe droids. I can’t help it – they’re all so… shiny....
HUMANS TRUMP PENGUINS
Forever could hear his hair graying.
It sounded like water being drained from a tub. He could hear the sound of it, he was sure, over the WFAN he played in his cab, over the chatter of his infrequent passengers. It was faint, but it was there, all the time.
He told the other cab drivers about it at the end of his shift one day, asked them if they heard anything in the background as they drove the city.
‘Whatever, Forever,’ they...
MY IN-LAWS ARE GONE!
<doing the my-house-is-mine-again dance>
Films renamed for the one scene for which they...
“Eastern Promises” renamed “Butt Naked Knife Fight.”
What a slow goddamn film. What a bitchin scene.
Tell me yours.