[Interior office conference room. Doreen, Josh and Curt walk in, dressed in business casual.]
DOREEN: Of all the 9am recurring conference calls, it has to be this one. Life SUCKS.
JOSH: Kill me now.
CURT: What, Expense Report Module Enhancements don’t excite you? L-O-L! Did you guys do karaoke last night?
JOSH: Yeah, and too many mao-tai’s.
DOREEN: Josh was a warrior out there last night.
JOSH: [air quoting] Livin la vida loca. [All laugh.] I see Louis is late again.
CURT: Probably still getting his McGriddle. All right, let’s do this! Expense Report Module Enhancements! [punches numbers into phone on table. Phone beeps.] Hi, this is Curt, anyone on the line?
VOICE FROM PHONE: GODDAMIT, WATCHTOWER, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? THIS IS UNIT FOXTROT! WE ARE PINNED DOWN BY ENEMY ON TWO FLANKS AND REQUIRE IMMEDIATE AIR COVER, DO YOU COPY?
CURT: Uh…
JOSH: Is this prank? Ashok, is that you?
VOICE FROM PHONE: [sound of automatic artillery] I REPEAT, WE REQUIRE IMMEDIATE AIR COVER, ALPHA QUADRANT, COORDINATES 8 AND 23! [other voice in background: JONES IS DOWN! THEY GOT JONES!] HEAVY ENEMY FIRE, CASUALTIES SUSTAINED!
CURT: Uh… this is the Expense Report Module Enhancement conference ca-
VOICE FROM PHONE: LISTEN TO ME, WATCHTOWER, I HAVE NO TIME FOR GREY OPS PROTOCOL BULLSHIT! CONFIRM REQUEST FOR AIR COVER, ALPHA QUADRANT, COORDINATES 8 AND 23! [automatic artillery fire] I NEED TO GET THESE MEN OUT!
CURT: Uh… Mr. Foxtrot, I think you-
VOICE FROM PHONE: CONFIRM REQUEST! LAUNCH THE BIRDS!
DOREEN: BIRDS! [she quickly reaches out and turns the phone off in a panic, unclear what she has just done. Josh and Curt stare at her. All are visibly shaken. Louis walks in holding McGriddle.]
LOUIS: Hey guys, sorry I’m late. [Takes large bite of McGriddle and sits down.] All right, let’s do this. Expense Report Module Enhancements.
[Silence. Louis stares at them, confused. END]
